Somewhere in Croatia
Somewhere in Croatia, the communists are meeting. Here is an overheard speech from their leader:
Comrades, welcome and for those of you who do not know me, I am Secretary Iva Godanic. I would like to open our first meeting of the Croatian Communist Party since the shooting incident of 2003.
Comrades, as I sip my French wine, eat my Italian pasta and Hungarian Goulash and enjoy my Polish vodka as I sit in my German leather couch, I cannot express enough my pride in being Croatian. To start off let's review:
In 1989, the Berlin Wall fell. Next year, the Soviet Union fell apart and all the Eastern European countries became free again.
What the f--- happened? One minute I was a party boss saying yes to Brezhnev and the next thing I know my double pension has been reduced. I threaten to shoot my wife and now she thinks I am joking. By the way nobody has to worry about any party purges tonight...the remaining ten of you will be fine.
Comrades, the world is changing and so is our place in it. We could never visit Poland because we could never pronounce the name of the Polish Ambassador. Since we do not share a border with them, it was not that important anyways. Speaking of ambassadors, we need to send someone to eliminate the Croatian communist congress of South Africa because there can be only one Croatian communist party. Might as well wipe out the one in Australia and New Zealand while we are at it. Does anyone have any frequent flyer points? No? Oh well there is always travel by boat...
Comrades, life was good in the old communist days. Ah to be paid to sit and watch a bridge and then shoot anyone who tried to use it..... to shoot a person who was running away...only to find out his house exploded...How we constantly disobeyed all of Moscow's orders because no one could speak Russian.
Today, we must prepare for the future and so here are the assignments - Sergei Abromovic - you are domestic and foreign affairs critic - this means you can pee wherever you like. Alexa Amawic and Vladmir Sonavabic - you will both head up diplomacy. U. Indadic will be my chauffeur once the car is repaired. Ura Sosic will be the agricultural critic.
I will now finish the meeting by asking all of you to distribute the propaganda flyers everywhere except the three factories I own in town and the other two.....ok ...just give me the flyers...
Comrades, welcome and for those of you who do not know me, I am Secretary Iva Godanic. I would like to open our first meeting of the Croatian Communist Party since the shooting incident of 2003.
Comrades, as I sip my French wine, eat my Italian pasta and Hungarian Goulash and enjoy my Polish vodka as I sit in my German leather couch, I cannot express enough my pride in being Croatian. To start off let's review:
In 1989, the Berlin Wall fell. Next year, the Soviet Union fell apart and all the Eastern European countries became free again.
What the f--- happened? One minute I was a party boss saying yes to Brezhnev and the next thing I know my double pension has been reduced. I threaten to shoot my wife and now she thinks I am joking. By the way nobody has to worry about any party purges tonight...the remaining ten of you will be fine.
Comrades, the world is changing and so is our place in it. We could never visit Poland because we could never pronounce the name of the Polish Ambassador. Since we do not share a border with them, it was not that important anyways. Speaking of ambassadors, we need to send someone to eliminate the Croatian communist congress of South Africa because there can be only one Croatian communist party. Might as well wipe out the one in Australia and New Zealand while we are at it. Does anyone have any frequent flyer points? No? Oh well there is always travel by boat...
Comrades, life was good in the old communist days. Ah to be paid to sit and watch a bridge and then shoot anyone who tried to use it..... to shoot a person who was running away...only to find out his house exploded...How we constantly disobeyed all of Moscow's orders because no one could speak Russian.
Today, we must prepare for the future and so here are the assignments - Sergei Abromovic - you are domestic and foreign affairs critic - this means you can pee wherever you like. Alexa Amawic and Vladmir Sonavabic - you will both head up diplomacy. U. Indadic will be my chauffeur once the car is repaired. Ura Sosic will be the agricultural critic.
I will now finish the meeting by asking all of you to distribute the propaganda flyers everywhere except the three factories I own in town and the other two.....ok ...just give me the flyers...
posted by Robert @ 4:58 p.m.
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