My own quote

Yesterday, I came up with this gem:

"I must have been a cat in my previous nine lives."

Upcoming Election

Some people have asked me for my take on the upcoming election so I thought I would weigh in with my loonies' worth.
Picking the party to run our country is pretty much like picking what favourite snack you would like to eat from "Fear Factor". Shall I go with the prickly sweet Beetle dung nuggets or maybe a nice fresh serving of the nutty-tasting locust. Of course, for the full dining effect, I have to strip naked and slither in my food first for a full five minutes but I digress.
Canadians have a tough choice and what a choice it is. Paul Martin, our present Prime Minister heads the Liberal party. Self-championed for its fight against separatism, no other party has continuously fueled the fire of Quebec's will to separate from the rest of the country. The Liberal party is singularly responsible for there being a separatist party living off Federal funds (Bloc Quebecois). The general feeling is that the Liberals need to be booted out faster than a cheating husband dodging his possessions flying out of his former home. It is interesting to note that not one politician has seen any jail time and most Canadians still believe Martin had his hands in the public cookie jar. What's the alternative? That he claims he did not know where the public cookie jar was? Corruption vs. Incompetence. The problem is that Martin never had a vision for Canada because he is so guided and a slave to opinion polls. He formed so many circles at the beginning of his statements during the Leaders' debate that I thought he was talking about his mom's home-made pie. Or perhaps he was using sign language - "I know we screwed up and we are corrupt but please just one more term." No doubt, the Liberals have to go.
Which leaves us with the Conservatives. We do not know very much about Stephen Harper other than he has put a stronger muzzle on his yahoo redneck party members waiting to jump into Ottawa from the republican corners of Canada. In the debate, Harper was literally leaning to the left as he was speaking. Does this mean he will be a Red Tory? He has so far hedged many questions that would betray his right wing movement. The biggest thing going for him and his party is Adscam and the need for change. Western alienation may indeed be put on the backburner at least until another four years are done.
Jack Layton and the NDP are our third choice. Now most Canadians do not consider the NDP simply because the party line leans too much towards communism. Some think the party stands for New Deficits Pending. Good ol' Jack is for the working man but his image is quite upper middle class. If he wants more votes, he should show up to workers' functions with used and worn clothing. Maybe he should sport a thick beard or at least a thicker walrus moustache. Hey, it worked for Lech Walesa of Solidarity. Jack like the others is much too repetitive and much to ho hum in his message. Like the other three, he needs new campaign writers that don't hang on to cliches like an unsuspecting patient clinging to life after meeting Dr. Kevorkian by accident. To be totally effective, Jack really need to put on twenty pounds and grow 5 inches. He is too small and his party is too small. "Woe" says the other leaders, "Let the little man speak." The last thing that bugs me about Jack is his image. He seems to have that look on his face that says "I am KINKY." Five years from now after Jack is out of politics, one will probably catch up with him at Chez Parees before one of his many upcoming lap dances. Hopefully by that time the moustache will be shaven off. (What am I saying?)
Lastly, but certainly not least we have Gilles Duceppe. Being the only non-Federalist leader of the four, I am surprised that the others don't pounce all over this man. He has a face that begs you - "Please pummel me. Please beat my face because that is what I am asking for. Please separate my left eye from its socket." Duceppe in one way is the least smartest man of all of them. If he really wanted to break up Canada, he should run Bloc Quebecois candidates all across the country. He would certainly get votes from many Canadians who are fed up with Quebec. The slogan could read "Keep Quebec in its block". But alas, like so many Quebec politicians, Duceppe is an isolationist and therefore only campaigns in Quebec while Ottawa pays his and his members' salary. It is strange to hear Duceppe comparing Quebec to the European model. Gilles, you don't even have your own currency to give up. If you separate, you will be getting your own currency and I would love to see how much 1 levesque dollar would be worth in US funds. Tabernac, a poutine costs 275 levesque dollars!! Gilles does not want you to think about those things. For now - "Please pay me while I try to break up your country!" Nice.
So there is the lovely picture of our leaders. Which begs the question - can we re-shuffle the deck and see what else we can come up with?